God's No, God's Wait, and God's Yes (Finally)

Almost exactly one year ago, in May of 2011, my husband graduated from the University of Texas with a Doctor of Musical Arts in Organ Performance (as in the instrument; you will not believe how many people think that has something to do with bodily organs). By the time he graduated, his name had been out for Call (he is also a Lutheran pastor) since November 2010. Everyone told us, "Oh, don't put his name out there too soon. 6 months, maybe less." Yeah. Right.

My husband had served part-time as an assistant pastor at two congregrations concurrent with his further graduate school work post-MDiv. First, he worked at a congregation in Indiana while earning his Mastor of Sacred Music from Notre Dame. Then, he worked at a congregation in Texas while earning his doctorate. Both of these arrangements were part-time and everyone knew that they would end when his schooling ended. It allowed my husband to "keep his hand in" so to speak and it gave the congregations the help they needed. Due to the fact that the call in Texas was part-time, we could not sustain ourselves on that salary alone once Chris' TA position ended with graduation. We were afloat.

There were a few good nibbles here and there, even down to an onsite interview with one congregation (which then decided not to Call another pastor after all). Nothing came, though, and we moved to Nebraska to live with family. Chris went into Candidate Status (which just means "available for a Call and not currently in one") and took a part-time job as head organist and choirmaster at a church in Lincoln. I amped up my tutoring hours. Chris took on lots of other projects and work (weddings, funerals, compositions for CPH, a semester teaching a course at Concordia in Seward). Still nothing. Little nibbles. Here and there. Then, nothing.

I don't know if "Candidate Status" spooked people (what does that mean? Did he do something "bad?"), or if they did not want to pay the scale for a pastor/organist with a doctoral degree, or if they thought he'd leave for a University job (of which there were very, very few anyway), or what. But the fact remained: nothing. Dead silence.

We lived our lives here in Nebraska as best we could day to day. We had a normal routine. Thomas started preschool. We enjoyed the extra benefits of being near family: weddings, Baptisms, holidays, birthdays, etc. But in the background the question loomed:

Where is God?

And we asked him. "Where are you Lord? What are you doing? Here we are, wanting to faithfully serve your church, and there is no place for us. What are you DOING?"

God was hiding. He does that: "For the LORD will rise up as on Mount Perazim; as in the valley of Gibeon he will be roused; to do his deed -- strange is his deed! and to do his work -- alien is his work!" (Isaiah 28:21). Yahweh's alien work hurts, it kills, it raises your hackles.

First we repented and pleaded. Then we asked and asked. Then we demanded.

You see, when God hides, you don't look to the hidden God with his alien work, you look to the revealed God and his promises, which are his proper work. And you hold him to those promises. So then the prayers became this:

"We've had enough. You have promised to provide for us, you have promised to hear our prayers and answer them, you have promised to be gracious for the sake of your Son, Jesus Christ. So, Lord, we are holding you to it. It's time to be the God of Promise. It's time to be the God of Grace. It's time, Lord. It's time to say yes."

That's faith talking, by the way. It sounds bad to our ears, but faith clings to the promises of God and holds him to those promises. Faith sees and knows that all of what happens is in the Lord's hands and by his doing, and holds him accountable.

We're not the first ones to talk like this.

Take Job, for example. The Lord had declared him righteous (Job 1:1,8), so Job held God to that declaration. When all his friends said "repent, do something differently, you must have done something wrong" Job said, "No! I know that the Lord has declared me righteous and blameless and I am holding him to it." Job goes so far as to confess that he will have an Advocate and that Advocate will bring his case before Yahweh, who will have to see that he has done wrong by Job. And even if Job were to die and decay, yet in his flesh he knew he would see God, his Redeemer (Job 19).

We are like Job. In our Baptisms, we have been declared righteous and blameless by God. We have gained an Advocate, Jesus Christ the Lord, who pleads for us before the throne of his Father. When God hides and works his alien work, we too can hold him to his promises in Christ Jesus. We too can confess that no matter what God does to us in the meantime, we know that we will see him with our own eyes and in our own flesh on the Last Day when he will vindicate us for Christ's sake.

That's faith talk. And there comes a point where that is all you have left. Faith and its clinging hand, holding on for dear life to the promises of God despite all appearances to the contrary. It is not a fun or easy place to be.

Almost a year to the day on which my husband graduated, he received the paperwork for a Solemn Call to serve as Strategic Mission Developer based out of Leipzig Germany. The Call was issued through the LCMS Board for International Mission. Finally, God said yes and worked his proper work. It was not the type of thing either one of us had ever envisioned ourselves doing (that's the way Yahweh likes to do it -- he sends you out to do the very thing you never thought you could. That way you know it is only because Christ is working in and through you that anything happens). And we responded by saying, "Here we are; send us." So it's off to Germany we go to find out what the Lord has in store for us there, and to serve him and his church throughout the world. That's a big yes from God after a lot of "No" and "wait".

God hides himself at many times in our lives. Deaths of loved ones, miscarriage, infertility, joblessness, depression, illness, injury, etc., etc. During those times when God is hiding and doing his alien work, the faith of the Baptized reaches out its hand and clings to the promises of God, holding on for dear life. And God will reveal himself, God has revealed himself, and God does reveal himself in Christ through Baptism, preaching, absolution and his very body and blood. There faith clings, and there faith will not be disappointed.

Theology Pet Peeves: Devotions

Everyone has pet peeves. Some people hate it when the cap is left off the toothpaste. I can't stand a pile of dishes in the sink. Worst of all, though, are my theological pet peeves. For instance, the one to be discussed today: The incessant focus on devotions for some Christians. When most Christians use this word, they mean something very specific. They are picturing you sitting at your kitchen table, or in a coffee house, or wherever, with a Bible in front of you, along with some cute little devotional booklet -- maybe a Portals of Prayer, maybe a Max Lucado, or what have you. There might also be a prayer journal close at hand. Don't get me wrong, devotions are wonderful, helpful, and important. What bothers me is the very narrow understanding of what a devotion is or what "devotion" is in general, and the guilt trip which is often laid on people when they are not "in the Word" every day with a clear-cut "devotion," when they are not "being devotional" according to the usual definition. (Just the phrase "in the Word" gets my goat. Guess what!!?? The WORD, Jesus Christ Himself, is already IN YOU by virtue of your Baptism into His name, His death, His life! But I digress. ) Here's the thing, devotion/devotions/devotional should be understood more in the light of vocation and of Christ's work, than in the light of our own work, and it certainly should not be a cause for a guilt trip.

Look. Her hand is on her Bible. She is SO devotional. This image came from www.avirtuouswoman.org.

A Look at What Devotion Acutally Is

I think some of this may be a new concept for some people, though for others, this may already be something they have pondered. However, let's just start by laying it out there on the line: reading the Bible with a little devotional booklet and a prayer journal is not the only "devotion" there is. In fact, I would not even say that it is the primary form of "devotion." The Bible is not a means to an end, with that end being your individual devotional life, piety, and posture. The Bible is not a vehicle for "devotion." Devotion flows first and foremost from Our Lord's Eucharistic service to us. When we are gathered in the assembly of the Church to hear the words of forgiveness spoken by Christ through our Pastor, when we hear His Word of Law and Gospel both in the readings and in the preaching, when we receive His Body and Blood for the forgiveness of sins, life, and salvation, there is devotion. It doesn't look like the typical idea of the individual in devotion, bowed low over her kitchen table, or sitting on a bench with a Bible in his hand, but it is, my friends, true devotion. And it is not our work, but Christ's work in us as He and His Word spoken and Word eaten and Word drunk are killing us to make us alive, and transforming us, day by day (a transformation which, by the way, is virtually invisible to us).

Out from that Eucharistic service we step into daily life, into our vocations as mothers, fathers, children, siblings, teachers, husbands, wives, single people, workers, employers, engineers, librarians, etc., etc., etc. And, my friends, for the Christian that daily life, that living within one's vocation is...wait for it...DEVOTIONAL in and of itself, whether or not you carve out 30-45 minutes a morning to do your "devotion" in the typical sense. Sent forth by God's blessing, as we are, every moment of our lives becomes a form of devotion, not because of how we think, how we feel, or what we do, but because of Christ's work in and through us, especially working through our vocations. We may not be, and most of the time probably are not, aware that we are even doing anything "devotional." Yet, the mother with the sleeping baby on her chest, afraid to move and wake the child, she is being devotional. The dad teaching his son how to play soccer in the front yard, he is being devotional. The wife washing dishes at the sink at the end of a long day without time for a devotion, she is being devotional. The employee typing a memo, he is being devotional. The teacher going over the finer points of Physics, she is being devotional. The firefighter suiting up...well, you guessed it, devotional. Why? Because working in our vocations to serve others IS devotional in and of itself, even when it is something so mundane as the daily task of sorting the mail, throwing in a load of laundry, or crunching the numbers for a company. And yeah, when you're wiping your kids poopy butt -- devotional. I said it. (Well, I wrote it). It's true. Devotional.

As Christians, these things are devotional because they take place in the context of our Baptisms, our vocations, and our sending out from the Lord's Eucharistic service to us with His service in us and through us for others. And, if, at the end of a long day in which there has not been time for you to do a devotion, but you just want to lay on the couch and turn off your brain, that's okay, too. Devotion has been happening all day. Take a little Sabbath rest. That's gift. And devotion of all kinds, that's gift, too. 

The "Do Your Devotion" Guilt Trip

Speaking of gift, hand in hand with a misunderstanding of devotion as primarily our action is the devotion guilt trip, the rules and regulations for how to do a "right" devotion, and the like. These guilt trips and law-based formulas for how/when to do a devotion are missing the point that "devotion" is GIFT, not a new law. God's Word is GIFT, not a thing to be done. Memorization and careful reading of Scripture are a gift given to us for our edification, building up, strengthening, etc., etc. They SHOULD NOT be an occassion for demonstrating our piety or for making others feel guilty. I once heard someone say that the pile of dirty dishes in the sink should be left, and devotions should be done instead -- doing the pile of dishes was, it was implied, actually a sin, if you still needed to get in your devotions. When I do the dishes, Christ is serving my family in and through that action, and it is devotional. Case in point, again from avirtuouswoman.org, this is exactly the kind of goofiness I am talking about:

"I know a lot of people tell you that it is okay to spend your commute talking to God or to squeeze in time whenever it works for you. However, I want you to consider this: Do you think that God wants you only when it is convenient or do you think He wants you to make time for Him? If He was willing to send His only begotten Son to die a horrible, painfully cruel death for you, is it too much to ask that you get up 30 minutes or an hour earlier and rise to meet him before you have any other distractions?...I encourage you to give it a try! Don’t forget the story of the Morning Manna. If the people of Israel waited too long in the day to gather the Manna from Heaven, it would disappear. So, too, does our blessing from God if we wait until it is convenient to meet Him.There is a special blessing just waiting for you tomorrow morning!"

This is from a post I happened upon when googling the word "devotion." The blog post is from October 2009 and can be found here. (Just to give credit where credit is due. I have never read anything else from this blog, so I am by no means recommending or not recommending it. Bold emphases are mine). I mean, did you catch that?? Did you read that?? Let me break it down for you.

First of all, she is making a law out of personal devotional time and in the process, she turns the Gospel into a Law by using it as a guilt trip for you to do your devotion. 

Consider this me, waving the red flag of warning right in your face.

There should be warning signals going off in your head right now! What the what?! "God sent His Son to die for you, the least you can do is give him 30-45 minutes of your day." Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!! If we're going to go that route, Christ died for you, so you should just give Him your WHOLE day. Certainly 30-45 minutes isn't enough. Stop what you're doing right now and go pick up your Bible and don't stop reading it...EVER. Oh but wait. If we understand devotion as the life of the Christian as lived out in our vocations, as Christ living in and through us, then...the whole day already belongs to Him, and we didn't do ANYTHING to make that so.

Do you see the ridiculousness of this approach? My goodness! The Gospel is free and nothing need be added to it, especially not your "good work" of personal devotional time, preferably 30-45 minutes of it in the morning! Here's what God thinks of your "good work" anyway: "We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. There is no one who calls upon your name, who rouses himself to take hold of you; for you have hidden your face from us, and have made us melt in the hand of our iniquities" (Isaiah 64:6-7, ESV). Even your good work of devotion is as a polluted rag to God, apart from Christ and His saving work on our behalf to redeem us from even our so-called "good works."

Then there's the whole second issue in this post from avirtuouswoman; this idea that it HAS to be in the morning, that it HAS to be 30-45 minutes, and that if not, your BLESSINGS WILL DISAPPEAR. Do I have to insert the red flags again? This one should be pretty clear. This is a theology of glory. This is name it claim it bogusness. This is earning God's gifts. God gives His gifts when and where HE pleases, including the gift of devotion, including the gift of quiet time with the Lord, and any other blessings He may be wanting to give that day. And the place where He promises to give His gifts, and where you know for certain He will be found? That is not your personal devotional time (as good and helpful as it may be), that is not in your prayers (as good and right as it is to pray -- and it is promised that God will HEAR our prayers,). The place where He promises to be found is Word (i.e. preached Word, spoken Word, Christ Himself) and Sacrament. Which brings us back to the beginning, to the font of all devotion: the Lord's Eucharistic service to us. Devotions/devotion/devotional -- all gift, gift, gift, gift, gift. You don't even have to unwrap it. It's open, it's being done in and through you, it is gift.